My Mummy died

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Yes My frrrrrrrrrriends the sad news is true...well I suppose I'd better tell you what happened ... it was an ordinary enough Christmas...Cousins roasting on an open fire uncle barry nibbling at your toes...same old same old until great aunt patty came round for christmas pudding (shees not really that old we just call her great because she is) So mother got very angry and said we invited her to a proper dinner with Great Great Great Grandpappy Roy and natty the maid as a side dish (she was so thin bless her, we should really have fattened her up and had her a main course next year...still...)...So Mother tucked into Great aunt patty, and so was very bloated... every one poked her in the eyes and called her fatty so all her veins popped, then she bought Zitty Brenda's fitness VHS and Franklin the florists calendar (he can put is nipples anywhere backpocket, barnyard, steam train to the desserted dessert ANYWHERE!) She got a paper cut on the calendar so that had sprung a leak, then she rather foolishly stepped on the tread mill and blew up like a balloon only with guts...some other people are clearing up the mess as we speak, I would't want my appetite getting the better of me.

So I went to Farmer Jacks and on the way noticed the crazy europeans haven't cleared up the new year day blood works so i licked some up to help them...not to much... I shouldn't want to be sick now would I) I went and mowed Farmer Jack's lawn in return of a story...this one was about a depressed eagle...gripping stuff. Then I checked up on Lional we played blind mans buff until dark when I was leaving he offered to sew up mum for free...good old Lional! TaTa friends